Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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