So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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