oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
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