I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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