I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize