I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
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