There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
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it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
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the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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