It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
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Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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