If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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