My first STD was from a foam party
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize