Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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