Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Who put my cat in the fridge?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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