okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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