im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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