return my video game
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize