hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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