I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
They took my balls.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
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