go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize