where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize