i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize