Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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