Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize