I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize