so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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