he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
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He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
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you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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