i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
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We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
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I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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