My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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