Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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