Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
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Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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