and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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