my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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