I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
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Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
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I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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