Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Fuck me I smell like cheese
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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