drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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