maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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