dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize