i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize