Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
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I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
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I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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