Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize