I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
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We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
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My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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