You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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