A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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