his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize