What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize