yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
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If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
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hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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