What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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