I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize