no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
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Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
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I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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