He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
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so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize