this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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